


Kuwabara Kuwabara

by orphan_account



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: F/M, Lemon, Light BDSM, One-Sided Relationship, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:30:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10061837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ocelot takes a liking to a new recruit and falls hard.





	1. HOUDINI

The comm buzzed out and Snake dropped from the chopper to find his horse - as usual - saddled and ready. It would be morning soon, so he drove his steed on at a gallop through the mountains. His target was a small, unsuspecting ruin of a building, under which the enemy had installed a few crude cells. He knew the place, having been here just a few months before, and had no trouble getting close unchecked.  
The guards here were sparse and vigilant. He should be careful, but his confidence spurred him on. Across the road, into the brush, up the hill. Not a soul saw him. He slipped off the horse when he took him as far as he could go unmarked. Barely crouching, he darted on up, toward the watch tower that was all but unmanned. He hurried along, beyond two small containers and behind a large truck.  
This time the guard on the roof had a torch. Snake waited until he had turned to patrol the other side of the building before hurrying on. He lowered himself onto his stomach as he drew near the stairs. They hadn't bothered to cover up the two gaping holes in the concrete, so he could easily hear the prisoners shifting about. He wriggled until he could peer down into the orange light.  
Three people were down there; what looked like a civilian woman, a young soldier, and his target - a gray CIA retiree who had taken it upon himself to do what he thought the youngsters couldn't and infiltrate enemy territory. He would be a valuable asset to their growing garrison.

A voice in the dark caught him off guard. Snake froze as a beam of light hit him directly in the face from below. There was a cry of surprise and he rolled away just in time to avoid the peal of rifle fire as it burst through the concrete. He got up and made for the stairs, catching a soldier as he came up and using him as a human shield while he took his comrades down. As he entered the cell block, Snake found something he was not expecting; a soldier with a case full of grenades standing at the opposite doorway. the man tossed one as he slammed the door behind himself, and Snake dove away with his shield still in front of him as the remains of the wall in front of him became missiles. The soldier in front of him roared in pain once, and then slumped forward in silence, falling against the rubble of the wall. Ears still, ringing, Snake pulled himself up and over to the cell, relieved to find that his target had had the good sense to get himself and his cellmates under the two beds before the grenade went off. The occupants of the other cell had not been so sharp.  
He had the door open in a flash, and led them back up the stairway he had used, as the holes had been blown in in the blast. They had barely made it outside, however, when the telling tinkle of a dropped grenade echoed up the stairwell. "GET DOWN!" His target shouted, throwing himself on the woman even as the blast consumed the young officer. Snake was first, so was able to roll almost completely away from the confined explosion. He brought the bomber down from the roof with a headshot, thankful that he had put the grenade box down on the parapet.  
There was a groan in the midst of the dust. Snake was there in an instant, pulling the middle aged man up. No use. Dead. Another groan and the woman stirred. He practically threw the man aside to pick her up.  
"Can you walk?" He asked.  
Nod.  
"Can you shoot?"  
Shake head. “Not very well.”  
"Well now you're gonna give me your best." He pushed a handgun and a knife into her hands. "I can't fly you out until we're clear of all this."  
Nod.  
"Ok, come on."  
He pulled her forward, shooting another guard down from the roof before he could even touch the trigger. They crouched behind a truck while Snake reloaded. He barely had the magazine in before the woman gave a cry. He reeled, gun ready, but it was needless. Her knife was embedded in the enemy soldier's throat. He made a gurgling sound, dropped his rifle and fell with a spray of blood.  
He dragged her away before anyone else noticed them. The rocky slope was more exposed than he liked, but was still safer than going through the camp. Putting her behind him, he shouldered a silenced rifle and began to edge down towards D-Horse. She proved capable enough of navigating the rocks, despite limping a little, so they were able to go at a reasonable pace, stopping for cover only once as a mortar crashed into the earth with a terrific BOOM.  
Snake jumped up onto his horse, with the woman right behind him. He swung her in front. "Take the reins, I'll cover us!" He ordered, surprised at how quickly she booted D-Horse on. "Head for the other side of that hill! There should be a chopper waiting to meet us!"  
They were halfway across the bridge when a car came screeching out of the camp at them. Snake tore through the driver and gunman and watched as the vehicle swerved and tumbled down into the ravine. It landed on its back, and because there are always some conventions, even in death, a single wheel popped off and rolled away. A stream of smoke rocketed into the sky, followed by the telltale whistle of a falling mortar. The horse was spurred onward, around an outthrust of the hill, as the place they were in a moment before was showered with debris.  
There was a whirring, and the wind picked up. A voice came over Snakes comm unit as the helicopter came down to hover over a grassy knoll. Snake jumped from the horse and caught the woman as she also dropped. D-Horses fulton activated, and he neighed in disapproval as he was carried away.

 

______

Early evening, and Pequod announced that they would be descending shortly. The woman was asleep. She had allowed him to handcuff her, but one arm was swollen - possibly broken as she landed on it during the grenade blast, so he had to simply cuff one arm to the seat and hope she didn't intend to assassinate him. One of her trouser legs was shredded, exposing a worrying amount of bloody, burnt flesh. But she didn't complain, simply took the painkiller he have her and proceeded to doze as they tore back to Mother Base.  
The landing pad came closer, so he nudged her awake. She stirred, opened her eyes, and moaned as the pain from her injuries welcomed her. Snake hopped out and gently helped her down, half-catching her as her injured leg made it difficult for her to land steadily.  
Ocelot, Miller, and an ever-growing DD were there to receive them. A small group of recruits watched from further away. As soon as he saw a civilian in place of a CIA veteran, Millers face dropped.  
"What happened?" He demanded.  
"A grenade took out our man." Snake explained. "She's the only one that got out in one piece."  
"What use is she?" Miller looked her up and down, searching for a reason not to toss her into the ocean.  
"She’s lethal with a knife." Snake exaggerated. "And she showed good initiative."  
"Can she be trained?" Miller turned to Ocelot.  
"It's worth a shot." Ocelot replied. "And if not, there's plenty of work around here. I'm sure we'll find use for her."  
DD, tired of sitting still. Yipped and bounded over to Snake. The woman, who seemed ready to pass out, was roused by the noise and whistled for the pup. He sniffed curiously at her boots, wagging his tail. She reached out an arm as if to pet him. It was clear she couldn't reach, so Ocelot came over and lifted the pup. The woman cooed at DD and received a rain of slobbery kisses. Ocelot handed the dog over, laughing. "Seems she'd make a good pup-sitter at least!"  
"Ocelot, please escort our guest to the infirmary." Miller ordered. "Snake and I need to discuss the issue further."  
Ocelot saluted and helped the woman away. 

 

_____

"Some bruised ribs, a broken arm, second-degree burns, a mild concussion and some minor shrapnel wounds." The doctor mused. "For someone caught by a grenade, I’d say you came off light.”  
She smiled weakly as he bound her arm. The drugs he'd given her were beginning to kick in, and the gel he had spread over her burns was wonderfully cool and numbing, so she couldn't help wondering how much pain she would be in without his treatment.  
The man called Commander Ocelot came in through the curtain, a mass of black and beige draped over one arm. "How is she?"  
"Nothing major." The doctor answered. "A few days rest and she should be up and about, ready for service."  
DD, who had been dozing at the end of the bed, wagged his tail at Ocelot.  
"These should fit you." Ocelot said, hanging the clothes over the rail of her bed. "Your boots were still intact, so you can wear them, too."  
"Thank you." She said hoarsely, throat shredded by the dry desert air.  
"I’m afraid I'm gonna have to ask for your name, as well." He added. "Miller wants a check done on you ASAP."  
She nodded and told him honestly.  
"I appreciate the cooperation." He tossed her a dog tag. "But while you're here this is what you'll go by."  
The title was stamped out clearly: VIXEN. She must have made a face, because Ocelot hastily commented: "I know it's not great, but no one else will take it." He shrugged. "Their masculinity’s too fragile."  
She hung it around her neck. "It's fine, thank you."  
"You'll be given trial shifts as soon as you leave that bed, so be sure to get plenty of rest." She nodded.  
"Any questions?"  
She licked her lips, sure she knew the answer already. "When can I go home?"  
He and the doctor exchanged looks. "See I can't quite answer that." Ocelot began. "This is a delicate operation we're running here, and if someone were to talk-"  
"It's ok." She waved the rest of his speech away. "I understand."  
She clearly wasn't in a talking mood, so the doctor gestured for Ocelot to leave, before going around the curtain himself. Ocelot sighed. "Well, I better let you sleep. DD come!"  
The pup whined and laid down defiantly.  
"DD!" Ocelot scolded.  
"If it's alright." ‘Vixen’ interrupted. "I'd like to keep him around."  
Ocelot considered them both for a moment. DD stood up, putting himself between the two humans. "Ok then, as long as he's not bothering you.” he agreed.He looked at the pup. "DD, you're on guard duty, ok?"  
The puppy barked, settling back down at ‘Vixen’s’ feet with a triumphant look in his canine features.  
"Which reminds me!" Ocelot went on. "The Boss wanted you to have this."  
He produced the knife Snake had given her. "Given the unpredictable nature of some of our soldiers, I'm inclined to agree with him." He set it on her side table. "Keep it close."

 

_____

After two days she became restless, and insisted to the doctor that she was ready to leave. He agreed, after checking her injuries once more and un wrapping or re-dressing as needed.  
"Come back in about a week to get those stitches out, or sooner if they start to feel tight. No heavy lifting with those ribs, and I'll tell Ocelot to go easy on the training, if he decides to try you." He handed her a jar of ointment. "Spread that on your burns after cleaning them, but otherwise let them breathe. And I'll take that cast off in a few weeks."  
It was all simple enough. She nodded along until he left her to get dressed. The uniform was basic but comfortable. She was glad Ocelot had thought to include a belt, as the pants were too loose. The knife, in its sheath, could be hung at her waist. She laced up her boots and tied her hair back in a loose bun before stepping out.  
She opened the curtain to find a soldier waiting for her. "Ma’am, I'm to escort you to the commanders." Of course. She obediently fell into step behind him.  
The ‘commanders' (Miller, Snake and Ocelot), were seated around a square table in a dim room. Snake and Miller were smoking. Ocelot was trying - rather unsuccessfully - to teach DD ‘drop' with what appeared to be a neglected cigar case.  
The dog scampered over to ‘Vixen’ as she sat down, brandishing the chewed tin proudly. She clucked at him and gently but firmly removed it from his mouth. She set it on the table out of reach.  
"Well Ocelot, I definitely think she should take over from you." Snake jeered.  
"Very funny." Ocelot retorted, taking his place at the table. He crossed his legs, one ankle on his knee, and gave their new recruit a long look. "I hear you demanded to be let out."  
"Not so much ‘demanded' as ‘complained until the doctor gave in’." She confirmed, scratching DD behind the ears.  
"So you're a journalist?" Miller, still not pleased about her presence cut in.  
"Yessir." She was only half being sarcastic, but Ocelot and Snake smirked at each other nonetheless.  
"What were you doing in Afghanistan?" He questioned.  
"We heard they were building nuclear missiles." She told him. "I picked the short straw and was sent in."  
"'We’ being…” He flipped open a file in front of him. "The Irish Times?"  
"Yes, Sir." She said genuinely, understanding that Miller was not fond of foolery.  
"And why would a paper from such a small country be interested in what's going on in Afghanistan?" He probed. "Last I heard you were having enough trouble in your own country."  
She frowned. "I'm not sure when you last heard about my country, Sir. Especially considering nowadays the Troubles are mostly confined to the North."  
"That's true, but I'm not sure why you wouldn't be interested in affairs closer to home."  
"Close to home occasionally gets boring, Sir. Readers like to hear something new from time to time."  
"And that's why you're interested in the Afghan missiles?"  
"If they exist, Sir." She agreed.  
Miller opened his mouth to speak further, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. He scowled. “Come in.”  
An aging Asian man stepped into the room, his drab uniform marred with smudges of black oil. He wiped his equally filthy hands on his chest before holding one out for the woman to shake, a grin plastered across his features.  
“So they finally managed to dig you up!” He chuckled, clapping her affectionately on the back. Her ribs twinged and she winced, but he didn't seem to notice. Instead he turned to address Snake: “Where was she?”  
The three commanders seemed lost, but the Boss still managed to answer: “Holed up under one of the barracks with almost a dozen others. She's the only one made it out.”  
The man let out a loud laugh, planting a meaty hand on her shoulder. “Living up to your name, Houdini!”  
“Houdini?!” Miller choked. “She's the one you sent us after, Sato?”  
“Uh-huh.” Sato affirmed. “Finest little sneak I ever trained. Clever enough to sneak around on me, even. She'll be a fine addition to your intel team, Ocelot.”  
“If she's half as good as you've told me,” The commander responded, gray eyes trained on ‘Houdini’. “I'm sure she will.”  
“You didn't tell them who you were sending them after?” The woman frowned up at Haruki Sato, her mentor.  
“I did!” he retorted, nonplussed.  
“Sato failed to disclose any details about you, however.” Miller interjected. “Only raved on about your skills, and that you would be posing as a CIA agent.”  
“Ah,” Houdini nudged Sato. “Someone blew my cover not a week in. I had to change my alias.”  
Snake snorted. “You're lucky I managed to get you out at all. What with being shoved into a cell with an actual CIA agent.”  
“So that's who he was working for.”  
Ocelot cocked his head. “You knew he was a spy?”  
Houdini shrugged. “He asked too many questions.”  
Miller’s fist connected with the tabletop, making them all jump. “For fucksake, Sato, we couldve extracted the wrong agent!”  
“Yes, I apologize.” Sato bowed his head. “I bet too much on the belief that she'd be able to make it to the extraction point by herself.”  
“I almost did.” Houdini said. “I got out yesterday and wasn't half a kilometre away before the dogs caught up to me.”  
Sato smirked at Miller. ‘I told you we should have arrived yesterday. If Houdini says she'll be at a certain place at a certain time, she will be!”  
Houdini looked from Sato to Miller, who had turned a violent shade of red, and then shot Snake an imploring glance. The Boss cleared his throat.  
“Well she's here now and that's what matters.” he put in, giving Miller a look.  
Miller didn't stop glaring at Sato, but took a calming breath before saying: “Yes, I suppose so.”  
Sato turned away from him. “Indeed. Did you manage to get the documents?”  
Houdini’s face fell. “I did. They were in my pack. But that got taken away as soon as they caught me. They're gone.”  
“What sort of documents?” Big Boss queried.  
“The floor plan of one of their larger facilities. Serak Power Plant” Sato told him. “We believe it's where they're constructing their newest weapon.”  
Miller swore. “Metal Gear!”  
Ocelot shifted in its seat. “If they're really building another Metal Gear, you need to tell us where you think they're doing it, Sato.”  
“Hmph.”Houdini scoffed. “There wouldn't be much point. There's only one way in, and that's through the front door.”  
Ocelot crossed his arms. “How do you know that?”  
“I looked at the map, didn't I?”  
“How much do you remember about it?” Asked Snake, leaning forward.  
She thought for a moment. “Bits and pieces.”  
“We have some aerial photos of the facility in question. Do you think you could add some detail to them.”  
Houdini nodded. “I could try. Maybe seeing them will help jog my memory.”  
“Ocelot, you help her with that, will you?”  
The young commander saluted his agreement. His eyes were trained on the woman, analyzing and appraising. Houdini had the distinct impression that his disapproval might result in her disappearance. She let him look. Then, removing the dogtag from her neck, she set it on the table in front of him.  
“You misspelled ‘HOUDINI’.”


	2. MAKING FRIENDS

"If you keep petting him," Houdini told Snake. "He’ll never listen."  
"You said I should give him praise." He commented.  
"Only when he does something correct." Ocelot chimed in. "He's chewing on your shoelaces."  
"So what should I do?" He tried to move his foot away, but DD leapt on it, snapping at his shoes.   
"Here, DD!" Houdini called. The pup came, but when she tried to walk, he dove at her feet. She snapped her fingers at him. "Ah-ah!" The puppy let go. "Good boy!"   
"Like that." Ocelot said, jabbing a thumb at her.   
"You'll only teach him bad habits if you keep petting him." Houdini tapped the dog firmly on the nose as he tried to bite her fingers. "No!"  
"You're too soft, Boss." Ocelot mocked.  
Snake muttered something obscene before turning back to the dog. Houdini had him lying placidly on his back and was scratching his belly. DD grinned up at Snake with his tongue lolling out, looking very much like a bat with his oversized ears splayed on the floor and his teeth on show.  
“I guess I am.” He conceded.

It took longer than expected, but Snake had finally managed to stop DD biting him after more than an hour. He left to train troops with his laces still mostly intact.   
"He listens to you more than me, you know." Ocelot praised.   
"Oh, I've had dozens of dogs." Houdini responded, busy trying to shake DD’s paw. The pup was more interested in licking her fingers; which was a welcome change from biting.  
"What?" He thought for a moment, then laughed out loud. "No, I meant the Boss!"  
She snorted. "Oh, well...same thing."  
They shared a giggle. Presently, Ocelot looked over her shoulder. "I see you've got a fan."  
She followed his gaze and saw a soldier standing at the rail, looking out over the ocean. "I don't think so."  
"Not him." He pointed at a section of the wall.  
Houdini squinted. At first she thought water was dribbling down the orange surface, then she thought it was a mirage. Then a woman materialised and disappeared around the corner. "Her again!"   
"Dont worry." Ocelot assured her. "Quiet’s just curious about you."  
"She looks like she'd murder me in my sleep." She commented.  
He sniggered. "If Quiet wanted you dead, you'd have a bullet through your skull already."  
Houdini considered this for a moment, then headed over to where the other woman had been loitering. She was out of earshot when Ocelot commented: "You girls play nice, now."

_____

"Hello?" She peeped round the corner and this time could not mistake the shimmer of Quiet’s cloak. "You're Quiet?"  
No response.  
"Why have you been following me around?"  
Silence.  
"Well, I'm headed to the upper deck, if you want to come." She turned and walked away, not turning to see the shifting air in her wake.  
The particular deck she favoured was near the centre of the base, on the roof of the main building. It stood well away from the choppers usual flight path, away from the pounding noise of the blades. it was walled all round, save for the ladder, so that when she sat down she was shielded from the wind.  
She took a small paperback from her cargo pocket and began to read. A figure materialised by her her side without a word and stood looking out over the horizon. Houdini ignored her as best she could and focused on her book.   
"If you're going to join me, sit down." She eventually snapped. "I don't like you hovering over me."  
Quiet sat down obediently.  
"Do you want to read?" She moved her book to her other hand, inclining is so the other woman could see the page.  
Quiet shook her head.  
She kept her book where it was and continued to read, aware of the eyes peeping over her shoulder. She turned the page and heard the faintest tsk from Quiet.  
"Oh sorry, you weren't finished that page?”  
Quiet blushed and shook her head. Houdini turned back and the younger woman pointed to a word on the page.   
“Vivacious.” Houdini said aloud.  
Head tilt.  
“Do you know what that means?”  
Shake head.   
“Do you know ‘vibrant’?”  
Slow blink.  
“‘Lively’?”  
Nod.  
“It's like that.”  
Smile. Quiet turned her attention back to the page.  
"Can you read English? I mean, I don't know where you're from…”  
She made gesture indicating that her English was not the best.   
"I can read it out loud if you want?"   
Nod. Nod.  
“And you can stop me if you don't understand.”  
Nod nod nod.

_____

"I hear you and Quiet made friends." Snake commented as she tightened the reins in his hands. He was a decent rider, for a man, but he lacked any real skills. He always held his reins too long, for one thing, giving D-Horse the opportunity to turn in the wrong direction, if he wished.   
"We’re friendly, if that's what you mean." She replied. "Sit up straight, will you? Your lines are all wrong."  
"My...lines?"  
She sighed and crouched like a rider. "Shoulder-hip-heel. And your arms should form an L-shape."  
He sat up straight and tried to mimic her posture.  
"Good, but bring your toes in. And grip his sides with your knees! No wonder you keep falling off!"  
"If you're trying to fix his posture, good luck." Ocelot strode across the arena, with DD bounding along ahead. Houdini patted the pup, who seemed to have grown considerably in the weeks since she came. "I've been teaching him for years. And he still slumps over the neck."  
"Well you hold your reins wrong, too, so I'm not confident in your abilities as a teacher." She remarked.  
Snake chortled behind her. "Yeah Ocelot, you've been teaching me wrong."   
Ocelot narrowed his eyes at them both. "Alright. Snake, Miller’s looking for you." Snake groaned and dismounted, handing DH over to one of the hands to ready him for a drop. "And Houdini, I want to try something with DD today, if you're willing to help."  
"Of course!" Houdini exclaimed excitedly, addressing the puppy. "I can't wait to get started."  
Snake patted Ocelot on the shoulder.   
"Dont worry." He mumbled into his friend’s ear. "I'm sure one day she'll be just as enthusiastic about spending time with you."  
Ocelot elbowed him in the ribs. He saluted mockingly and was gone.

"What did you want to try?" Despite Ocelot’s concerns about her still-mending arm, she insisted on carrying DD cradled in her arms like a baby. The doctor had taken her cast off last week, but insisted she still needed time to rebuild her muscles after such a bad break. Luckily the pup was fairly placid, and lay back with his paws in the air, dozing.  
"I've been trying to get him into the chopper for months now. While Snake’s being prepped, I want to get you to try it with him." He explained.  
The helicopter was on the landing pad, refuelling. As they approached, the fuel line was retracted and the pilot hopped up into the cockpit. At a gesture from Ocelot he fired up the engines and had it hovering as close to the ground as possible. DD woke up and began to fuss in Houdini’s arms. She winced as he knocked her thumb, sending an unpleasant jarr up along her recently-broken bone. Ocelot saw this and gently took the puppy from her, placing him at their feet.  
"I'll show you." He said. "DD, go!"  
He pointed at the helicopter and the dog leapt forward. He hesitated a moment and then made a jump for the open door. He didn't spring high enough, however, and clambered at the bottom of the doorframe before falling off.  
Ocelot shook his head. "DD, come."  
The pup returned and sat watching him. Houdini crouched down and patted his head. "He's scared of the chopper." She told Ocelot.  
"What?" Ocelot sounded surprised. "No he's not. He ran right up to it!"  
"Only because you told him to." Houdini insisted. "Look at how strained his expression is! He's panting, his ears are back…”  
"...scared?" Ocelot repeated, before throwing his hands up. "What’re we supposed to do, now?"  
"Tell them to cut the blades, I want to try it."   
The helicopter came down and the rotors stopped with a faint whistle. Houdini approached the craft with DD at her side and Ocelot following. She sat in the door and patted her knees. "DD, jump!"  
The dog made as if to spring, hesitated, and sat down with a whine. Houdini persisted. "C’mon, DD, good boy!" This time she extended her arms. The dog stood up, hesitated again, and barked at her. Ocelot looked as though he wanted to scold him, but Houdini gave him a look and he stopped.   
"You need to tell him, too." She instructed.  
This time her "Come here, DD!" was joined by a "DD, go!" from him. The dog jumped up and Houdini caught him before he could fall.  
"Good boy!" she exclaimed, placing the puppy down inside the helicopter and rubbing him. Ocelot came to pet him, too.  
After a few tries, DD was leaping into either Houdini or Ocelot’s arms without hesitation.   
"How much time do we have?" She asked Ocelot.   
"I’d say about thirty minutes before he gets here." He answered. "Why?"  
"Why don't we try bringing him up a little?" She suggested.   
He nodded and joined her within. As she held DD in her lap, the helicopter began to hum. DD cried, but when Ocelot moved to rub him, she slapped his hand away.   
"Act like it's normal." she instructed.  
Sure enough, the puppy soon relaxed a little, and the chopper rose up bit by bit. He shifted about, clearly unsure. Even when he whimpered Houdini and Ocelot paid it no heed, and he eventually stopped. Houdini, whose arm was beginning to hurt again, handed him over.  
"I'm surprised by how easy that was." She admitted.  
"Easy?" Ocelot did not seem to share her opinion.  
"Of course!" She laughed. "Getting into this big, noisy thing is a big deal for such a small pup. A few more weeks of this and he should be fine."  
"Weeks?"  
She nudged him with her shoulder. “And you need to lower your standards!”  
He blinked down at her. “I do?”  
“Yes! He's just a baby!”


	3. RIDING LESSONS

She stretched her arm out, experimentally flexing and moving her fingers. There was a slight strained feeling in her disused muscles, but it didn't hurt.   
"Keep doing that regularly." The doctor instructed. "And try hefting things like water bottles - anything light enough to revitalise your muscles without hurting."  
"Can I ride?" It was the only thing she was worried about. Snake and Ocelot both really needed her help.   
"Go easy, but yes." He told her. "Ocelot wants to try training you, too. You're a southpaw, so I know it shouldn't be too hard to lay off that arm for a while."  
She nodded, not wanting to admit how apprehensive she was about training.   
“Just let me know if I'm being too hard on you.” Ocelot appeared at the doorway.   
She smiled. “Will do.”  
“if you want to start riding, you should use Challenger. She's more relaxed than D-Horse.” He suggested.  
“OK, thanks.”   
“Come on and I'll help you get started.”

Houdini was glad to be back in a saddle. she hadn't ridden a horse since she set out for Afghanistan, a thing she did almost every day back at home. Ocelot complimented her skill, and even set up a few small jumps, which she easily cleared.   
“Hey, can you shorten my stirrups?” She called. She was finding it difficult to keep her heels down.  
“OK, get down.” He slipped under one of the bars bordering the ring and strode over.  
She scowled. “Why? It's easier to do them with me on.”  
He looked at her for a long moment before coming to the horse’s side. She took her feet out and hung them behind the stirrups. “They're way too long. Bring them about halfway up my shin, would you?”  
“Alright.” He was slowly turning the colour of a tomato. “About here?” He touched the edge of his hand to her shin.  
“Yes, please.”  
He coughed and reached up toward the seat, where the buckle was concealed by a flap. Houdini thought nothing of it, but realised what he was thinking when he began to look anywhere but her face. She bit her lip so she wouldn't laugh. “Ocelot?”  
“Hmmm?” He was focused on the leather strap. Not her face, and certainly not the parts of her that were near his hands.  
“You're just fixing my stirrups.”  
“I know.” There was a quaver in his voice, which made her laugh in spite of herself.  
He hitched both straps up and stood out in front of the horse to make sure they were even. Houdini said they felt fine and he practically ran back to his vantage point.

Houdini finished after an hour and got off. She was stretching her legs this way and that when Ocelot wandered over and hopped up onto Challenger.  
“No, be careful!” She cried, stopping when he successfully mounted.  
“What?” He was looking at her again, but not for long.  
“I loosened the girth when I got off. Here.” Without any hint of discomfort, she shoved his leg up towards the horse's neck and tugged at the straps around her stomach. Ocelot at first looked at her like a madwoman, and then seemed to be distracted by something in the distance as she fixed the stirrups once more.   
“I'm going to leave them a little higher, “ She told him. “If it's too uncomfortable I'll fix them.”  
“They're fine.” He responded quickly.  
Houdini tutted. “Your hands.”  
He watched as she pulled the reins tight and placed his little fingers under them and his thumbs on top. By now she was fully aware of his discomfort, and was enjoying it immensely.   
“You watch too many Westerns.” she critiqued. “Picking up bad habits.”  
“There's no such thing as ‘Too many Westerns’.” He grumbled back, edges of his mouth twitching upward.  
He rode off, walking briskly around the ring while she watched. Feeling mischievous, she leaned over the rail and called out: “Move your hips!”  
He looked up in surprise. “What?”  
“You're a little stiff.” she explained. “It'll make her jittery if you don't relax your hips.”  
He took a deep breath, clearly trying to relax, but only became more rigid.   
“Stop!” She called eventually. He did so, but did not look pleased about it. “I'm trying to help, Ocelot.” He tried his best to neutralize his expression. “Drop your reins.” He did so. “Now get her walking.”  
Challenger started walking slowly.   
“Faster!”  
She perked up.  
“You're heading for the wall, Ocelot!”  
“I haven't got the reins!” He snapped.  
“Use your legs!”  
“What?”  
“Nudge her outside flank!”  
The horse began to turn.  
“Good!” she called. “Now stop!”  
“How?” he was red with frustration now.  
“Use your seat!”  
He looked like she was speaking an alien language. Houdini sighed. “Pick up your reins and come over here.”  
To her surprise, he obeyed. Though he did look like he wanted to shoot her.  
“Can you tell me where you learned to ride?” She wasn't too pleased with him, either.  
“I mostly picked it up myself.” She realised what his expression was. It was that of the star student who finally gets into trouble with teacher.  
She rolled her eyes. “Why am I not surprised?”  
“What does that mean?”  
“This is the first time I've watched you, and to be honest… you're sloppy.”   
“Sloppy?”  
“Let me show you.” she used the barrier to climb up behind him. “First,” Houdini reached around him, smiling at his intake of breath, and took the reins. She tied them in a knot halfway down and hooked them to the pommel of the saddle. “When I say ‘drop the reins’, i don't mean long enough for your horse to trip on them.”  
“I see.” If he was uncomfortable, he didn't ask her to get down.   
“Hold the pommel if you're nervous.” he did no such thing. “Now, relax your hips.” Houdini touched him as she said so, making him jump a mile. The horse skittered and almost took off, but he pulled the reins hard, making her stop halfway off her front legs.   
“Don't yank on her mouth like that!” she scolded. “Jesus, you could tear her lips!”  
He dropped the reins.  
“She's feeding off your tension, see?” She composed herself. Still with her hands on his hips, she told him. “Ok, move your hips gently.”  
He hesitated, then complied. The horse moved few steps and stopped.   
Houdini clapped him on the back. “Fantastic!”  
“Thanks.” There was some colour in his cheeks again.  
Mercilessly, she took her hands from his hips and wrapped them around his waist. “This time, I'll control her, OK. Don't move, just try to feel what i'm doing.”   
“Ok…”  
She urged Challenger on, bringing the horse around in one perfect loop of the arena. She barely had to move her legs, but changed her seat according to what she wanted the mare to do.   
“Do you understand?”  
“Yeah, a little.” He replied.   
“Put your weight down and back.” Challenger slowed to a halt. “Good. Why am I teaching you this?”  
“To improve my riding?” He answered uncertainly.   
“That.” she agreed. “Aaand…” She tapped his revolver, the one in front. “It'll be handy, won't it?”  
He gave a short laugh. “Yeah. Thanks.”  
“I can show you more, if you like.” she said into his ear.  
A cough interrupted whatever he might have said next. Snake was leaning on the barrier, grinning. “Well don't stop on my account.”  
Houdini giggled, sliding down off the horse. She passed Snake and, seeing his glance at Ocelot, turned.  
“See you tomorrow!” she called back, waving. 

 

______

She was leading both Challenger and DH into the arena when Ocelot appeared through the door. He had an unhappy look on his face, as someone pressured to do something, and watched her carefully as she adjusted Challenger’s girth.   
“Ok, you can get up.” she said, patting her neck and moving over to D-Horse.  
“Is that my next challenge?” Ocelot questioned, gesturing to DH, who was standing by untacked and intrigued by the situation.  
She made a face. “You're not nearly ready to go bareback.”  
She largely ignored him as she led DH over to the fence and mounted. Meaning she watched him in her peripheral vision the entire time. He had his back to her, and seemed to be trying to fix his own stirrups.  
“Need a hand?” she offered, wandering over.  
“I'm fine!” he responded shortly.  
Houdini rolled her eyes and ambled out into the ring. As she heard Ocelot fall into step behind her, she called back. “How about taking away your stirrups today?”  
He grumbled something inaudible before replying: “Fine.”  
“Ok, take your feet out and cross the stirrups over the pommel.”  
She heard him moving about, followed by an urgent “Whoa!!” as Challenger sprang forward a few steps.  
“And try not to hit your horse on the shoulder as you do so.”  
Grumble  
‘ Pardon?’  
‘Nothing!’ 

He was out of sorts today, that much was clear. Houdini found herself wondering what Snake had said to him after she left the day before. As he tried to boot Challenger out of a corner, swearing as the horse became more aggravated, she decided to step in. She brought DH into the centre of the arena, where he seemed happy to stand and watch as she dismounted to deal with the commander.  
‘Stop!’ she called, followed by a. ‘Whoa, girl!’ As Challenger threw up her head in frustration. ‘She's going to buck you off if you keep doing that!’  
‘She won't move!’  
‘Because you're pressing down on her as you kick!’ Houdini retorted. ‘you're telling her ‘stop' and ‘go' at the same time!’  
She looked at his boots. ‘Not to mention you don't need to kick so hard with spurs.’  
He once again looked like he wanted to shoot her, so she stopped talking and ducked under the barrier. ‘Move back.’  
‘What?’  
‘You're obviously not ready to go alone, I'm taking the driver's seat.’  
‘But yesterday I…’  
‘Yesterday you were paying attention.’ Houdini had run out of patience with his attitude. ‘Today you've got a stick up your arsenal. Now move, or I'll find a better way to spend my afternoon.’  
He gave her daggers, but moved nonetheless. Houdini hopped up in front of him. She gave Challenger a gentle rub on the neck, waiting for the horse to calm down before urging her on, out of the corner and back on the track.   
‘You're still sitting heavy, loosen your hips.’ she told Ocelot.  
‘How can you tell?’  
‘I can feel it.’  
He relaxed behind her, and the horse picked up her pace.   
‘Good.’ she praised. ‘I want to try trotting, ok?’  
He hesitated. ‘...alright.’  
‘Hold onto me.’   
There was a loud silence, and two hands gripped her waist.  
She worked the horse up to a trot. Challenger’s gait was smooth enough, and they both sat it easily, though Ocelots grip tightened as she sped up. They went twice around, until Houdini felt that he was getting used to the feeling.   
‘Ok, hold on!’ she called, turning Challenger in to face a low jump.  
They approached at an easy pace, until the horse saw the jump. At once Challenger broke into an unexpected canter, which Houdini easily sat through, but Ocelot tensed. As she cleared the jump with a overshot leap, Houdini heard a soft thump and a breathless grunt from behind as Ocelot made contact with the back of the saddle. She immediately stopped the horse.  
‘Get down! Get down!’ she exclaimed.   
He hit the dirt and fell to his knees, clutching himself and gasping for breath. She landed beside him.  
‘No! Stand up!’ she dragged at his shoulder until he was upright. ‘now rub your thighs like this!’  
He copied her movement until the colour returned to his face. As he recovered, he quickly turned red and stomped off, followed by a curious D-Horse.

Houdini put the horses back in their stalls and gave them their dinner. She took Challenger’s tack up to the storeroom, and was surprised to find Ocelot sitting on one of the trunks with an ice pack on his crotch. She almost laughed, but he saw her, and she quickly assumed a concerned expression.  
‘You can come in.’ He said. ‘I‘m not gonna shoot you.’  
She hurriedly put the saddle and bridle up. He was watching her when she turned back around.  
‘How is it?’ she asked, trying not to gesture at the injured area.  
‘It hurts.’ his expression was not angry - it was unreadable. Houdini would have preferred angry. Still, she couldn't help wondering if he wasn't being just a little dramatic. She had seen such things happen to boys at the stables where she had learned to ride, none of them took this long to recover.  
‘Maybe you should see the doctor.’ she suggested.  
‘Nah it's fine.’ He answered.  
Dramatic it was, then. ‘I‘m sorry.’  
He waved a hand dismissively.   
This was worse than a talking-to. Houdini sighed and turned to leave.  
‘Sit.’ He ordered. Seeing her reluctance, he added. ‘It'll look wrong if I'm caught in here alone with my hand in my lap.’  
She laughed in spite of herself. Seeing him smile too, she concluded that perhaps she was safe for the moment.  
She sat on the trunk next to him, well aware that it was slightly too small for two people. He shifted and removed the pack from his bruised pride and set it aside. Then he stood up and did a lap around the room, which made Houdini laugh aloud.   
‘What?’ He demanded, stopping.  
‘You're walking like John Wayne.’ She chuckled.  
He looked down and laughed, realising what he had been doing. ‘Maybe someone did the same thing to him!’  
She scoffed. ‘I didn't do anything to you! If you'd learn to sit properly it'd never have happened!’  
He shrugged, clearly not wishing to argue any more. Sitting down again, he regarded her profile, as she pretended not to notice.  
“I‘ll get you back.’ He commented.  
That got her attention. ‘How?’  
‘I have to think of something.’ He admitted.   
The way he stared suddenly made her uncomfortable, so Houdini stood up.   
‘Tell me when you're ready to try again.’ she said, and was gone.


	4. FEAR

Wind flew at Houdini’s face as Ocelot opened the door of the chopper. They were flying over the damp grasslands of Zaire, scouting ahead of Big Boss on a tip from one of the Lost Boys that the man behind the Vocal Chord parasites would be found in a facility upstream.   
It had been several months since Houdini had joined the Diamond Dogs. Over half a year and dozens of missions later, and things had changed a great deal. Their roster had almost doubled in size, and the addition of the child soldiers had inevitably changed the dynamics of the ever-growing Mother Base. Indeed, with the looming threat of the new Metal Gear, nuclear weapons, and the harsh reality of the virus cutting through their ranks, the atmosphere of the base had changed drastically. The air between everyone was colder, the friendly interactions strained as people looked at their comrades and wondered how long they would be around, and who they were really working for.  
Houdini looked to the Commander, thoughtful. When they had first met, she had thought there was something between them. Perhaps there still was, but now it was cold and stale. Both of them were far too busy to be concerned with such things. And yet -  
“You alright?” Ocelot had caught her staring.  
She rubbed her eyes. “Sorry I… I'm just tired.”  
He nodded. It wasn't a lie. He had dark smudges under his eyes, too. “I wish I could tell you that you can take a vacation after this.”  
“Hmph!” Houdini snorted.  
Ocelot smiled and looked back outside. “Clouds are low.”  
She followed his gaze. “Probably another storm.”  
“Great.” He muttered.   
“Approaching the landing zone!” Pequod interrupted.   
Houdini pulled on her jacket and zipped it right up, belting on her guns with slow and deliberate movements. She stretched before leaning back against the bulkhead with a sigh.  
“I can go ahead if you're really that tired.” The Commander offered. “You can cover me.”  
She smirked. “We’ve both know how that would work out. Or have you forgotten?”  
“Don't worry, I didn't forget.” He replied, poking at his thigh, where she had no doubt he still sported a pitted scar.

_____

It hadn't been long before Houdini realised that her commanding officer‘s espionage skills were lacking. He was good at listening in on radio signals, and could observe from afar, but as far as getting close was concerned, he just wasn't on par with the other people on his team.   
There had been an incident near one of the smaller outposts when he'd gotten too close. One of the guards took him out in seconds and brought him in. Houdini had found him bound to a chair, refusing to talk to the two young men attempting to ‘interrogate’ him. They'd been easy enough to take out, but the guard on the tower had spotted them and put a bullet into the commander’s leg. She had had to drag him to the landing zone over a kilometre away, hunched under his weight and panicked that he was going to bleed to death. But they'd gotten out, and he'd been patched up. And those desperate few hours in the chopper had been the most they'd spoken in months. 

_____

“I never did thank you properly,” Ocelot’s voice brought her back to the present. “Did I?”  
She waved a hand. “Don't mention it.”  
He didn't, just hopped out as the helicopter came to hover just off the ground. Houdini followed silently up to the crest of the ravine, where he pointed towards the orange light of a settlement.   
“You go north along the track there. You'll pass by a guard post not far ahead. There should only be three or four of them, but don't let them catch you on the bridge. Poke about as best you can and meet me back here by 1900.”  
Houdini nodded along with him.  
“Any questions?”   
“What if we run into trouble?”  
“Don't bring them back here. Lead them downstream and circle back. I had them drop Challenger a little way down. Whoever is alright should take her and go after the other.”  
“Ok. Good luck.”  
“And you.”

 

_____

The place was heavily guarded. That alone was enough to rouse her suspicions. Once she got across the bridge, she could hardly move for guards, but it was clear they were hiding something valuable. A well placed footprint here, a tap on a crate there, and one of the men fell into her hands. He spoke soon enough, and she fultoned him out for good measure. Houdini backed away from the main building and crouched aside to radio Ocelot.  
“He's in the basement.”  
His voice came over the radio, obscenely loud, and she clapped a hand over the receiver, afraid someone would hear the wayward static: “I'll let the Boss know. He should be dropping in soon.”  
“What?”  
“I know, I know. It looks like Miller insisted we get this done ASAP.”  
“But I've hardly gotten a sniff of anything!”  
“Neither have I. We'll have to make due with what we've got.”  
“But the Boss-”  
“He'll be fine. He's gotten jobs done with less info than this. Just poke around a bit more and meet me for extraction like we planned.”  
She swore.   
“Houdini!”  
“Yes. Understood.” She responded grudgingly. 

The radio faded out and she checked her watch. There was still plenty of time before they had to get out. But the Boss was already on his way.   
The basement. If she could just get closer… she had seen grates along the base of the house; what if she could see their target through one of those? That would help.   
She edged forward, slipping around a dozing soldier easily, as well as two having a personal discussion. Then the low rumble of an approaching truck tickled her ears. Cursing her luck, she crawled under one of the parked jeeps and held her breath. The truck dropped off a half-dozen more men. Not good.   
Her radio crackled back to life, and this time she muffled it against her chest.   
Ocelot’s voice once more tore through the silence: “Get out. Skulls. Get out!”  
She lifted it to her lips. “Commander. What?”  
“Snake just met a Skull unit in the ravine. He's ordered everyone else out! Meet me at the landing zone ASAP!”  
“But… I can't!” Boots crunched inches away from her face. “There's guards all around me!”  
Ocelot mumbled something in Russian. “I'll wait as long as I can.”  
The radio cut out. Houdini looked around. There were about four guards loitering near the vehicle, not to mention the ones out of sight. She could hijack the Jeep… no good. She wouldn't make it past the checkpoint. And as for the Skulls… she shuddered. She had no desire to meet them.  
Houdini pulled out the small gun from its holster. Only nine darts… she'd have to be careful.   
One in the neck, one in the arm, one in the leg, and one in the chest. The men each looked around for their assailant for the time it took for the drugs to take effect. Once they crumpled, she rolled out from under the car, picking up one of their pistols on the way. A shout came from the other side. Someone had seen the fallen soldiers. Houdini quickly slipped around the edge of the building following the stone wall to the back. She could get to the river from here. Though how she was supposed to get across she wasn't sure. She'd have to figure that when it came to it. But how could she do that in this fog?  
Fog.  
The word resounded in her head.  
“Skulls.”   
Panic stuck in her throat. She had to get out. Get away from them or die trying. Her legs moved of their own accord, propelling her through the rapidly waning light. If a soldier heard or saw her it didn't matter. They'd all be dead soon anyway.   
Or worse.  
When had she started running? Her boots pounded the ground, far too loud for someone trying to get away unnoticed. A soldier stepped round the corner and she crashed into him, shoving him down to the ground without thinking. He yelped and struggled up, calling after her as he shouldered his rifle. The bullets zipped past as she made it to the treeline. One or two crunched into the bark behind her.  
She fell up the slope, groping at the ground as the damned mist moved around her. A branch caught her cheek, and she ran blind into the next tree, words turning the air blue.  
The precipice came all of a sudden, and she caught the nearest bole just in time to teeter sickeningly over the edge. The river roared below, brown and swollen by recent rains.  
Ocelot. He was on the other side. The gap was far too wide. How was she supposed to get to him?  
A crunch behind her. Houdini turned to find a soldier moving through the fog, moving back and forth. Searching. For her? She couldn't tell. But there was something wrong. He was moving all wrong. Lurching and shuffling. One of their soldiers. And they couldn't be far behind.  
Houdini looked out over the water, back to the nearing scout, and made her decision. 

 

_____

The water hit her like a truck, blowing the air out of her lungs and shoving her on like so much flotsam. Houdini crawled to the surface, took in a gulp of air, and was dragged back down. She felt her arm scrape the riverbed and tried to push off it. It sent her up alright l, but only momentarily. Lungs filled again, she battled against the current. Managing the surface once more, she held herself up with all her will. There was a bend ahead, with a handful of large rocks stuck in the outside of the curve.   
Either she would catch hold of them, or she would be battered against them. She had no idea how fast the river was going around that corner. Dare she?  
She dared. Damned near tore her fingernails out clutching at the stone. Houdini wrapped her arms around the boulder, hanging on for dear life as she edged toward the bank. Could she crawl up? The water was almost level with the edge, but had she the strength?

Of course, she needn't have worried. A shout filled her ears. Her name. And strong arms were pulling her up and out of the water.  
Houdini fell against Ocelot, unable to stand on her own. She could still hear the rushing of water in her ears, so if he said something, she didn't hear it. But he was warm and safe, so she didn't try to listen to him, only rested on him, black spots dancing in her eyes.


	5. THE STORM

She must have passed out, for she woke to him easing her down from Challenger’s back.  
“Ocelot?” She murmered.  
He set her on her feet, but held on tight. “There you are.”  
Houdini looked about.”This isn't the landing zone.”  
“No. None of the choppers could make it through that fog. We'll have to rough it until it's settled.”  
“Oh. How did you find me?”  
“I saw you jump off that cliff. Had a hell of a time keeping up with you, even on Challenger.” He shook her gently. “The fuck were you thinking?”  
She blinked up at Ocelot. She'd never heard him swear before. But he wasn't angry. Far from it. “Skulls…”  
He smiled. “You jumped off a cliff to avoid them?”  
She shrugged. “I'm Houdini. I knew I'd make it.”  
He chuckled, squeezing her slightly. “And I'm your lovely assistant. Helping you with your tricks.”  
“Not so sure about the ‘lovely' part.”  
He didn't dignify that with a response, just turned, one arm still around her shoulders, and gestured to the wooden shack which Challenger was now sniffing at. “Welcome to our abode for the night.”  
Houdini grimaced. “Should've left me in the river.”  
Ocelot tugged her forward, both of them ducking under the low lintel. Inside was a cooking pit, a few tools, and a wooden palette covered with a thin mattress which served as a bed. She hesitated. “Isn't this someone's house?”  
He let her go and she wavered, putting a palm to the rickety wooden wall for support. Stepping into the centre of the room, he looked about. “It must've been. No-one's been here for a while, though.” He saw her leaning against the wall. “You alright?”  
She nodded. “Still a bit wobbly.”  
“And soaked through. I'll get the saddlebags from Challenger. You get out of those wet things.”  
She was too uncomfortable to argue, so as soon as he stepped out, she peeled off her drenched uniform, kicking her boots into a corner. She found a line fixed over the fireplace and hung her clothes there.  
“You sit down, I'll get the fire going.” Ocelot shuffled through the door carrying the bags. He dumped them by the bed and looked her up and down. “I don't l mean to be indiscreet, but you should take those off, too.”  
True enough, her undergarments were just as waterlogged as everything else from her recent swim. Houdini felt herself turn a particular shade of crimson at the idea of being completely naked. The commander directed his attention to the fire, putting his back to her. “There should be a blanket with the bags. Go on. I won't look.”  
Houdini silently stripped. Taking the blanket, she wrapped it around herself tightly, so that it hung from her like a makeshift dress. She hung her bra and pants, too, and took a small brush from the pocket of her trousers. Ocelot went on with setting up the fire as she struggled with her tangled tresses, watching him set a pot over the flames to heat their rations. Hair sufficiently tamed, she sat down on the bed, tugging the blanket shut and securing it between her outstretched legs.  
The commander came over, handing her her dinner. He took off his boots, gloves and weapons before settling down next to her. An awkward silence had fallen over them, punctuated only by the scrape of their spoons. Houdini deliberately didn't look at Ocelot, but kept her head down, wondering if he was looking...the blanket covered her sufficiently, but hid nothing.   
Outside, thunder boomed suddenly in the distance, and a flash of lightning lit the dark room. Close on its heels came the rain, pouring past the door and window in sheets. She remembered the river and shivered.  
“Cold?” Ocelot broke their silence.  
“A little.” She admitted.   
He took the empty ration pack from her hands and put it away with his own. After a moment rummaging in the bags, he sighed. “That's the only blanket, I'm afraid.”  
“I'm fine, really.”  
He sat back up. Houdini brought her knees up to her chest and adjusted the blanket once again around herself. A touch on her shoulder made her jump a mile.  
“Sorry.” The Commander froze with his arm hovering away from her. “But of you're cold…”  
She swallowed. “Ok…” Looking away again, she edged over, closing her eyes as his arm came to rest across her back. He rubbed at her firmly, willing the warmth back into her.   
“I hope you're not catching a fever.” He remarked.   
“No, I don't think so.”   
His hand moved to her neck and she sat up straight, the soft stroke of his fingers warming her far better than his whole arm had. “You don't feel warm at least.”  
He didn't remove his hand.  
“Um..” Houdini looked at him finally.   
“Should I stop?”  
His thumb brushed the edge of her jaw, and she licked her parched lips. “...no.”  
A fleeting smile lit his features, gray eyes flashing in the firelight. Houdini didn't move when he ducked his head to kiss her, pursed her lips in response to the touch of his. Did she want this? Several months ago she had. But now?  
He kissed her harder, fingers brushing through her hair. Oh well. She lowered her legs, turning into him. The blanket fell away when she moved to embrace him, but she gave it no heed. This might be a mistake, but it was a good one.  
Her fingers found his buttons, and she shoved his shirt away from his shoulders, whipping his red scarf away, too. He tugged her blanket away entirely and, before Houdini could react, was pushing her down on the bed. His hands moved to her breasts, his mouth to her neck. He rumbled his approval as he fondled her, and she sighed when he nibbled on her collarbone, her own hands exploring the taut muscle of his back.  
Ocelot’s mouth returned to hers, tongue forcing its way past her lips, both of them making small, desperate noises as they continued cup and palm one another. When his fingers edged between her legs, urgently stroking at her sex, Houdini mewled and nipped at his lips as he left her to spoil her breasts with tongue and teeth.  
He slipped one digit into her, moaning into her chest in approval of what he found there. Her own hands went to cradle his head, and the commander understood her need. He left her spoilt nipples, causing Houdini’s breath to quicken with his every action as he made his way down her body.  
The warmth of his eager tongue sent a jolt through her. She kept her hands lightly on the back of his head, not wishing to push him, only urged him on with caressing fingers. Ocelot hummed happily against her, pushing another finger in, searching for that sweet spot even as his tongue circled her nub.  
“Ah!”  
There  
Houdini chewed on her own lip as her pleasure rolled within her. Her back arched as it crested, and she rode it out with a shudder.  
A few more experimental strokes, and the commander was on her once more. Turning her face toward him with fingers that reeked of her own lust, they met each other's gaze for the first time since they'd started. Rather that blushing, Houdini felt accomplished when she saw how dishevelled he was. He touched his fingertips to her lips, and she met them with her tongue, tasting herself.  
“You came?” He asked hoarsely.   
She nodded, so he took her hand from his back and guided it to the front of his trousers. Houdini didn't even try to conceal the grin which spread across her face as she felt how hard he was. She pressed her hand against him, observing as his eyes fluttered shut, hips rolling forward. They flew open again when he felt her tugging at his belt; seemingly mesmerised by her as she unbuttoned and unzipped him, impatient to hold him in her hand. When she squeezed, teasing his shaft with a single stroke, he swore breathlessly, crashing his mouth to hers as they both yanked his trousers down.  
He found her entrance with her guidance, her hand planted firmly on his ass as she willed him on. He was only too happy to comply, pushing into her swiftly. They both moaned at the sensation of him filling her.   
Ocelot broke their kiss first. Gasping as he thrust into her. “I'm sorry.” He huffed. “I can't last long…”   
Houdini nodded in understanding, bringing her hand between them to rub herself. She didn't need to come again; she was still sensitive from his previous ministrations. Straightening himself, the commander hooked an arm under one of her legs, wedging it aside, looking from her face to her busy fingers and rapidly losing control. The new angle put more power into his driving hips, and Houdini braced her free arm against the wall above herself, forcing herself down on him, so that each of his movements went deep.   
She panted and moaned in time with him, neither of them caring about the noise. Who on Earth would hear them? As her own cries reached a crescendo, she heard Ocelot growl his way through his release, hands gripping her breasts in a beautiful flash of pain.   
He rolled aside, allowing his seed to leak out of her. She scooted over on the small cot so he could lie down, slightly surprised when he embraced her from behind, drawing her to him with a quick kiss on the shoulder. His other arm he slipped under her head, and she twined her fingers with his. He gave a contented exhale and was soon asleep. Houdini followed slowly, lulled by the lazy pitter-patter of rain on the iron roof.


	6. EXCUSES

Three days.  
She had managed to avoid the commander for three whole days.  
Houdini didn’t regret what had happened. But the impression she got from Ocelot - from the way he had looked at her in the helicopter - left a sour taste in her mouth. She wondered if he had slept with any other recruits...Indeed, she wondered when he had last come so close to anyone. Her gut told her it had been a while. It also told her it would've been another while yet had she not been there.  
For her it hadn’t mattered - the commander was attractive and wanted her. That was her only reason for lying with him. If another of the soldiers on Mother Base had been there on that night… she would’ve done the same.   
But it hadn’t been one of them, had it? It had been Ocelot, who had looked at her in That Way since she first arrived. Her stalwart admirer. Did she like the way he rested his eyes on her, taking in her every curve, watching without watching? Did she find some satisfaction when they came close, and she noticed his focus falter ever so slightly? Yes and Yes. Yet that was not what he sought when their gazes met. He wanted something more. The guilt of knowing that made her push their night together aside. Made her cringe at the thought of him. Made her want to run away.

“There you are!”   
She suppressed a groan at the sound of his voice. He stepped out from where he had been loitering (lurking?), and caught her round the waist, drawing her into the recess of a darkened doorway. Almost three days.  
He dipped his head, claiming her mouth. Rather than protest, she found herself kissing him back, looping her arms around his neck, opening her mouth to him, heat pooling in her gut at the low growl that shook his chest. She should stop this. This would only make things worse. Try to explain to him that -  
Ocelot shoved her up against the cold surface of the wall. As he pinned her with his weight, hands squeezing her rear, the only sound that came from her mouth was a muffled moan. He came even closer, tongue caressing hers eagerly, and she only parted her legs, allowing him to stand between them. He thrust firmly against her so that she almost cried out, biting down hard on his lip as she clamped her mouth shut. He hissed, clearly more aroused than in pain, and slipped a hand under her t-shirt, caressing her breasts as he ground her into the wall, watching as she fought to stay silent.  
“Come on.” A firm hand on her wrist. The sound of a door opening, and she was plunged into semi-darkness.  
A supply room. Of course.   
The commander sat on one of the crates, pulling her with him. He tugged her shirt off with a fluid movement, kissing and biting at her stomach as he undid her trousers. Houdini’s hands were on his head, holding him to her instead of pushing him away. She even undid her own bra, relishing the feel of a warm mouth sucking and lapping hungrily at her perked nipples.   
Her belt hit the floor with a clatter, and the commander lifted each of her legs in turn, casting her boots aside with a soft thunk thunk. She was now completely naked before him.   
Rather than cover herself, or tell him to stop, Houdini reached out and removed each of his gun belts in turn. Shirt, scarf, and gloves followed. He eyed her when she opened his trousers and pulled him out, kneeling in front of him to put his cock in her mouth.   
So she had him right where she wanted him; practically naked and gasping her name as she sucked mercilessly. All of the worries that had been haunting her melted away as she raked her nails down his bare chest, watching him buck, his control waning. She touched herself at the sight of him and thought: I could finish him like this. We'd both be satisfied, and it wouldn't be the same as…  
But no, that wasn't enough for her. She stood up and mounted him, his eyes going wide at the suddenness of it. He didn't stop her when she took him in hand, lowering herself onto him with a long moan. He just sat up straight, so that they sat entwined, chest-to-chest and mouth-to-mouth. And though that voice inside her told her to stop, that she was only hurting him more, Houdini found herself riding out her pleasure, kissing him deeply as he shuddered inside her. He said her name a dozen times. Had she said his at all? No. Of course not. That would be too familiar.  
It was over, and Houdini hurried to dress. Ocelot followed suit, though at a slower pace. She caught his eye, words faltering on her tongue, and looked away.  
“What?”   
She faced him, searching his posture, his face for a moment, hoping the right words would come. What were the right words? “I want to keep fucking you, but only if you don’t get soppy on me” or perhaps “Stop looking at me like that, it’s distracting me from your dick”?  
Ocelot frowned, reaching out to take her hand. “What?”  
She kept her hand in his as she said. “We can’t keep this up.”  
He sat back, puzzled. “Why not?”  
“We have a job to do here…”  
He groaned, letting his head fall back against the wall. “That’s all.”  
“‘That’s all’?” Houdini echoed.  
“Look.” Ocelot squeezed her hand. Don’t do that. “I like that you want to be professional, but I think both of us are capable of doing our jobs while still… enjoying each other’s company.”  
“But what if they find out?”  
“What if who finds out?”  
“The Boss...Kaz… the troops...anyone...everyone!”  
“Quiet already knows.”  
“She won’t tell anyone.”  
“So you’re worried about your reputation?” He pulled her closer, taking her other hand.   
“No...yes...maybe.” She stammered. “Yours, too!”  
“Well I just see that as motivation for both of us to keep doing the same stellar work we always do!”  
“Stellar?”  
“Mostly.” He conceded, kissing her hands in turn. Definitely don’t do that.  
Just tell him the truth, idiot.  
“What if…” Houdini started. “What if something happens…”  
“...to one of us?” The commander finished.  
She nodded, too frustrated at her inability to speak truthfully to keep trying. She just wanted out of this closet. Away from those eyes.  
He stood up and kissed her. Stop it. “Houdini, we could both be lawyers and there’d still be a chance of something happening to one of us. I don’t see that as any reason not to continue.”  
She wasn’t speaking and he wasn’t listening. So what was the point? That was why she smiled and responded. “I suppose you’re right…”  
“I suppose I am.” He agreed, kissing her once more. “Now we’d both better get a move on, see to our stellar work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the smut train, I guess :)


	7. REWARD

It was raining once more, and Houdini sat trying not to think of that night as she watched droplets race each other down the helicopter windows. She and the rest of her team were headed to the airport ahead of Snake in order to secure the location of a Highly Skilled Soldier, and thankfully Ocelot had chosen not to join them. In fact they had agreed that they should probably avoid going on missions together whenever possible, for professionalism's sake.   
It was that thin, misty sort of rain. The stuff that seems to seep through anything you could wear and soak your very bones. She pulled her hood up over her head, hoping it would do some good at least. She had sent Laughing Hyena and Screaming Wallaby in one direction while she and Pouncing Jackal took another. They reached the point where they were supposed to go it alone and saluted one another. This was a heavily-guarded facility and chances were not all of them would make it out unscathed.  
She found the northwestern corner of the airfield largely unmanned, save for a single troop in a walker unit who was only pacing back and forth, not really looking for intruders of any kind. The beam of his searchlight was obnoxiously bright in the rain-dulled night. Houdini gave him a wide berth, hugging the outer fence.   
She could hear two soldiers chatting nearby and crouched next to a dumpster. If they went in different directions after their talk they would be easy pickings. Patience was key in this sort of situation, so she propped herself against the wall, eyes and ears open and weapons in hand.  
It was then that she heard the officer’s radios buzz in unison. A voice came through, loud and clear. Houdini understood the word “Intruder”, and her stomach sank as the alarms sounded. Luckily for her, the soldiers ran off in the opposite direction. Unluckily for her, they had left hardly a soul for her to interrogate.  
Except -  
A lone soldier burst through the door of the building at her back, still struggling to get his rifle over his shoulder. Houdini was on him in an instant, throwing him against the doorframe, knocking the radio from his hand. They both fell to the ground, wrestling until she got her legs around his and pinned him down, knife to throat, pistol to stomach. He froze, placing his hands out on the ground, palms up in surrender.  
“Where is he?!” She demanded.  
“W-who?”  
The barrel of the gun pushed further into his gut and he whimpered, a single tear appearing at the edge of each eye. He was only a rookie, no more than twenty or so. Houdini almost felt bad hurting him.  
Almost.  
She spat the name of the general in question. “Tell me where he is, if you want to stay alive!”  
He sobbed, giving the exact location of his superior’s office. “Just don’t kill me, please.”  
Houdini nodded, satisfied, and drew her knife across his throat.

Mother Base reared up out of the ocean, her orange sides glinting in the afternoon sun, a welcome sight after a painful chopper ride. Houdini, Pouncing Jackal and Laughing Hyena sat hunched on the seats in silence. There was an empty seat where Screaming Wallaby usually sat, and three pairs of eyes were fixed on it. They hadn’t been able to get him out, it would’ve been far too dangerous for any of them to try. They did right by their training, yet his last screams still rang in their ears.   
Houdini was only glad when her boots hit the solid ground of the landing pad. Two recruits had come out to salute them, and one came over to her now.   
“Houdini?”  
She nodded.  
“Commander Ocelot requested that you report to his office for debriefing.”  
‘Debriefing’...she almost laughed out loud.

After a quick shower, Houdini hurried over to the Intel Platform. Ocelot’s office was on one of the lower decks; a small, plain room with little more than a desk, a filing cabinet and a radio inside. She found the commander gazing out the small porthole which overlooked the ocean. His gun belts hung over the back of his chair, there was a crumpled mass of red on his desk: his gloves and scarf. He had clearly been waiting for her.   
He turned as she entered, a grin spreading across his features. As she closed the door he settled into his chair.  
“Lock the door.“  
Houdini only nodded, clicking the latch into place.  
“Come here.”  
She rounded the desk, anticipation buzzing through her limbs.   
He looked her up and down. “Take off your shirt.”  
She complied, casting her t-shirt aside. Her bra quickly followed.   
The commander grunted his approval, hands immediately raising to stroke her stomach, to fondle her breasts. He pressed his lips to her ribcage.”Your skin is so soft.”  
Houdini felt him tugging at her belt. The sound of her zipper seemed too loud in the midst of their breathing. He pulled her trousers down to her knees and caressed her firm ass, kissing her shaven mound, probing her slowly with his tongue. She gasped, spreading her legs as best she could.   
But he sat back instead of treating her to his mouth. “Sit down.”  
She sat as he wanted; on his knee, both of her legs slung over his. He kissed her as he rid her of her boots, so hard that she whimpered, fingers fumbling with the small buttons on his shirt. She struggled impatiently with the last three, pushing the garment away from his shoulders, appreciating his slim yet muscular chest as she forced her tongue into his mouth, seeking his. He moaned slightly at this, his own hand stroking the creamy skin of her exposed thighs, slipping between them to tease her sex.  
Houdini moaned, breaking their kiss. Ocelot simply chuckled, nibbling on her earlobe. “Did you miss me? God. You're so wet already.”   
With that he pushed his fingers into her - two at once, seemingly pleased when she moved her hips, a delighted “Ah!” emitting from her. She spread her legs as his fingers delved as far as they could go, the heel of his palm settling against her swollen bundle of nerves. His arm at her back, he lowered her so that she was almost lying across him, completely on show. With a growl he brought his mouth to her neck and breasts, tasting her greedily as he crooked his fingers inside of her, his palm grinding against her nub.  
It was good. Houdini felt all reason begin to leave her thanks to his attentions, breath coming in muted gasps and moans as she felt herself edging closer to -  
“No.” Was the commander’s only comment as he stood up, placing her on her feet with him. She might have complained, given the chance, but his hands came down on her shoulders. He turned her, shoving her over the desk. Houdini heard the telltale jingle of his buckle and stepped out of her trousers, planting her feet wide and raising her rear.  
“Good girl.” Ocelot’s hand hooked around her hip, and he circled her clit as he brought himself to her entrance. “I want to feel you come.”   
Houdini turned her head to the side, watching as he loomed over her. He teased her with his cock briefly, covering himself with her wetness, before entering her in one merciless thrust. She made a breathless noise, hands clamping round the edge of the desk. It would have hurt had she not been so wet. Instead the feeling was nothing but intense.   
An experimental roll of his hips and Ocelot himself moaned through pursed lips. “Am I hurting you?” Came the laboured question.   
“No!” She responded. “No, keep going.”  
He ran his hand up the length of her spine, gripping her hair in his fist. “Just tell me if I hurt you.”  
Houdini nodded, and without a word he plunged into her, taking her hard over the desk, his hand working her from the front, his hardness filling her. She bit her lip against the lewd sounds that threatened to escape her, hearing him struggle in a like manner. His grip on her tresses tightened, adding a dimension of pain that only excited her more, and when that hand released her to slap her hard on the rear, she cried out before she could control herself.   
The commander exclaimed something in Russian, doubling over her, inhaling in sharp pants. His weight crushed her uncomfortably against the wooden surface of the table, but almost at once - as though he sensed her discomfort - he wriggled his free arm under her, saving her from the table while pulling her closer to him. He buried his face into her neck in an effort to muffle his own cries. As his movements became quicker and more erratic, Houdini felt a warmth emanating from the point where his fingers played, coupling with the pressure caused by each of his thrusts in a way that made it hard to breathe. She arched underneath him, trembling with ecstasy, neither feeling nor caring when his teeth clamped down on her shoulder, the tightness of her orgasm undoing him completely.  
The table creaked as he slumped over her, all power drained from their limbs, they could only lie there for a long while, slick with sweat, gulping in great lungfuls of air. Houdini grunted under him, pushing herself up onto her elbows as his weight threatened to crush her. With a huffed apology he lifted himself and slumped backwards into his chair. Seeing him flushed and sweaty, as she was sure she was, too, made her smile down at him. She leaned down for a final languid kiss, and ignoring his hazy grin, dressed herself again.   
“Houdini?”  
“Hmm?”   
He had just about managed to pull his trousers back up and was busy buttoning his shirt with slow fingers. “You know you have the rest of the day to yourself, so I advise you to get some rest. After your shift tomorrow I'll be expecting you in my quarters.”  
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Your quarters?”  
He sat up, fixing her with his stare. “I think we would enjoy this a little more if we had some privacy, don't you agree?”  
She couldn't tell if the feeling in her gut was excitement or dread, but she answered all the same: “Yes. I look forward to it.”

Exiting the office, she found Quiet leaning against the rail of the platform, watching the door. When she saw Houdini, a knowing smile quirked the edges of the sniper’s mouth.  
Houdini felt herself turning red. “We were um…discussing interrogation techniques?”  
Head tilt.   
“Shut up.”


	8. DISCIPLINE

She wasted the day away with Quiet, reading in their usual spot. Houdini tried to teach her to write some English words she had previously taught, but unfortunately Quiet’s spelling was atrocious, so she gave up. When Quiet then proceeded to try and draw DD, Houdini laughed so hard that the sniper threw down her pen and refused to take it again.  
As the light began to wane, she closed their book with a sigh. “Quiet?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Does anyone else know?”  
Shake head.  
“Good. You won't tell anyone?”  
Quiet waved her hand in front of her mouth, as though asking how.  
“I dunno. You could draw a picture.”  
The sniper made a face expressing that that was the last thing she wanted to depict, before realising the jab against herself. Houdini sniggered and she slapped her on the arm.   
“Can I tell you a secret?”  
Nod nod.  
“I have no idea what I'm doing.”  
Head tilt.   
“I like the commander, and I enjoy our time together…”  
Giggle.  
“...but I feel like he likes me more than I like him.”  
Quiet frowned and tapped her own chest, imitating a beating heart.  
“Yeah...maybe? I'm not sure.” Houdini wrong her hands. “I get the feeling he's far more interested in me than I am in him.”  
Quiet gave her a steady look.   
“I don't know what to do.”  
The sniper rapped her firmly on the forehead.  
“You're right. I do know what to do.”  
Nod.  
“But every time I try to say it…”  
Blink.  
“He just looks at me in a way that…”  
Blink.  
“...I just can't say it!”  
Quiet leaned over and repeated her tattoo on Houdini’s chest.   
“You think I like him?”  
Nod nod nod.  
“What does it matter it I do?”  
Frown.   
“No good can come of it!”  
“Hm?”  
“Look where we are! Even if I did let myself develop feelings for him…it would never work.”  
Quiet knocked on her head, and then her heart.  
“I have to decide?”  
Firm nod.  
“If I can't?”  
Quiet shrugged at first, then thought, and made a motion of a heart breaking in two.  
“Me or him?”  
Two fingers.  
“You're right.”  
The sniper put an arm around her and squeezed her fondly. 

Her shift the next day bordered on mundane to maddening. She was made to sit around the intel platform and listen in on radio signals. Houdini was not built to sit still for an extended period of time, so she ended up doodling on her notepad more than anything. The most exciting part of her day was when DD scampered up and put his head in her lap, demanding attention. Ocelot tried to shoo him away, but she complained and he gave in. They ended up playing fetch across the room with a ragged tennis ball. Some of the other officers even joined in, to the commander’s increasing annoyance.  
He caught her at one point on her way back from the restroom. “Are you trying to infuriate me with that dog?”  
She blinked innocently up at him. “No. Why would you think that?”  
“Perhaps because you’ve hit my office door with that damned ball fifty times.”  
“Oh? I’d lost count.”  
He crossed his arms. “Play with the dog all you like. Just keep it down or -”  
She smirked, pulling him forward by the belt loops. “Or what?”  
His facade broke, and he smiled impishly. “Or I’ll have to think of a way to discipline you.”  
Houdini stood on tiptoe, holding her mouth a hair’s breadth away from his. “I can’t wait.”

The day finally drew to an end, and Houdini took dinner with the others in the mess hall. Quiet had gone off with Snake that afternoon, so she brought a book and ate alone. Some of the other intel members threw a few words at her, but otherwise she enjoyed a few moments of blissful silence after a day listening to mostly static.  
The commander’s quarters were on the command platform, so she took a jeep over by herself and wandered about until she found the correct door. Looking up and down the hall before she did so, Houdini lifted her fist and gave it three firm knocks. It opened almost immediately, revealing a rare sight: Commander Ocelot, out of uniform. Instead he wore some gray sweatpants and a black tank top. Even his hair was different - it fell carelessly over his shoulders.  
Houdini stammered. She had seen him completely naked, yet somehow this struck her as more revealing. He stood aside and ushered her in, locking the door after her.  
“You’re late.”  
“I went to get some dinner before…” Her eyes fell on a pair of handcuffs on the table, lying next to a black riding crop. Her pulse raced as she picked them up. “Who are these for?”  
“For you.” He reached around, taking them from her. She held her arm up as one cuff clicked around her wrist.  
“I should’ve come sooner.”  
Behind her, she heard Ocelot’s breath quicken. “Then you want to…?”  
“Of course.”  
A growl, and he yanked up the hem of her shirt. It sailed off somewhere in the direction of the bed and landed with a whump. She stood still as he rid her of her bra next, grinning to herself as his trembling hands struggled with the clasp. He even unlaced her boots for her, delicately lifting her foot out of each one and placing it on the floor. When he stood, taking her in in all of her naked glory, his eyes danced with excitement. She gestured with the cuffs “Front or back?”  
He tugged her hands forward and fastened the metal band around her other wrist. Turning her, he nudged her up against the wall, where there were some pegs meant for hanging clothes.   
Convenient.  
They were just high enough to hold her standing straight, with her arms above her head, but not high enough to strain her shoulders. The commander hooked the handcuffs over them and ran his hands down the length of her body. He kissed her neck once before whispering; “Tell me if I hurt you too much. Tell me if you want to stop.”  
Houdini turned her head to look at him. “And if I want more?”  
His nostrils flared at this. “You can tell me that, too.”  
The soft pad of his bare feet across the bare floor. The scrape of the crop being lifted from the table. She heard him take his place behind her before the leather tip tickled her back.  
“Eyes forward.”  
She faced the wall obediently, squeezing her eyes shut. Only wanting to hear and feel. Ocelot tapped her lightly on the rear and she barely felt it. Another twitch of the crop, ever so slightly harder, and she chuckled.  
The leather tip left her skin and came down with a small sound. Houdini giggled: that had tickled more than anything. Once, twice, three times more on the same spot and her skin felt vaguely warm.  
An approving “Hmph.” And this time she heard the crop coming. It landed across her back. Not exactly painful yet, but she sighed excitedly all the same. Again, and she gave a little moan.   
“More?”  
“Yes.”  
“Say it.”  
“More.”  
This time the air parted with a whistle, and Houdini wriggled under the sting of his blow, grinning.   
“Like that?”  
“Yes.”  
“Tell me.”  
“I like that -”  
Another strike cut off her last word. She moaned louder, standing on tiptoe as heat travelled forth from what she was sure were several stark pink welts on her white skin.   
“Ocelot?”  
“Yes?”  
“Harder.”  
“Ask nicely.”  
“Harder please.”  
He grunted. The crop whistled. This time she cried out.  
“Too much?”  
“No. Again.”  
Smack. Pain blossomed in her shoulder and she shuddered.  
“Again.”  
Crack. She groaned.  
“Once more.”  
She saw red this time, gasping and pulling herself up against the wall.  
Behind her, the crop clattered to the floor.   
“That's enough for now.” The Commander decided.   
“Agreed.”  
She smelled him before she saw him, as he pinned her flat against the cool metal. The warmth radiating from his bare chest (when had he taken his shirt off?) was soothing, and she sighed. Yet she could not ignore the hardness straining the thin fabric of his sweats. Ocelot drew his hands lightly up and down her torso, a rumble filling his chest at the feel of her.  
“I really should have tried his sooner.”  
Houdini turned, allowing him to nuzzle her. His hands grasped her hips, bringing her back, he knelt behind her. He leaned forward and lapped slowly at her as he caressed her ass. The gentleness of it after being flogged was a welcome contrast, and an “Ooh!” fell from Houdini’s lips before she could catch it.   
A silence fell between them, punctuated only by Houdini’s sharp breaths as he continued. He stayed there for the longest time, only licking her. It was so long that she considered stopping him, then slowly a warm wave crested and broke over her, so that her legs almost gave, and she pulled herself up by her chains.  
Ocelot stood and struggled out of his pants. Edging her up to the wall again, he turned her head to kiss her deeply. He entered her like that, slowly, deliberately.   
“Lift your leg.”  
She did, and all mercy left him. Hips slapping vulgarly against her rear, he took her roughly.

They made noise more freely than they had in his office, or in that storage room, but still, he had neighbours, so when Houdini became too loud, he clapped a hand over her mouth, biting and sucking at her slick flesh in an attempt to keep himself distracted. It was over all too soon this time; he had gotten too excited by the whipping alone. Just remembering it as they fucked had been enough sent a shiver of pleasure through him - one which sent him hurtling toward his end. He came, whining like a new virgin in protest, pulling out of her and swearing at his lack of control.  
Houdini looked, clearly surprised by their abrupt end. She understood at once, of course, adding to his humiliation. He turned away from her and pulled his sweatpants back on in an effort to hide his shame.  
“Sorry.” He grunted. “That was too quick.”  
“It's fine. You made me come already, remember?”  
He remembered. That's what had made her so tight and wet…  
The sound of her zipper made him snap his head round. “Where are you going?”  
She looked up at him with those big blue eyes. “Back to my quarters?”  
“No.” He caught her by the wrist and pulled her over to the bed. “No no no. You're staying here from now on.”  
Houdini followed. When he sat down on the edge of the bed, she settled down beside him. “What if -”  
“What if people find out?”  
She nodded, and he felt his frustration mount. This again. “Who cares if they do?”  
That seemed enough for her. Houdini shrugged. “It doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you.”  
She pulled her trousers back off, exposing those long white legs. They had been his undoing. When he'd seen them peeking out of the end of that blanket, the word “professional” had slipped his mind. What had happened had happened and he had no regrets, so why not keep it up? But she was so unsure. It drove him mad. At times he wondered if she…  
No. If she didn't want to she wouldn't keep doing this. She wouldn't have come tonight. Wouldn't have let me…  
He smiled at the thought of it. Damned if he was letting her sleep in her own bed ever again. She was his now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you hadn’t noticed, this is basically just smut with a thin thread of plot.  
> Hope you don't mind.


	9. ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dubcon warning for this chapter.

Houdini had been gone for days, away on a scouting mission in northern Afghanistan. It wasn't the longest she'd been gone - not by a long shot, but it was the longest she'd failed to contact them. The hours left to declare her MIA were ticking down at an alarming rate.

Ocelot stood staring out of the window of his office, willing her chopper to come over the horizon, the clock ticking away loudly behind him. This wasn't the kind of operation that made a habit out of searching for wayward intel officers. If something had happened to her, he'd probably never know. 

There was a knock on the door and Snake entered, sporting a black eye from his most recent mission. He saw his friend at the window and offered a sympathetic smile. 

“She'll be back.” He offered.

Ocelot’s head whipped round. “Who?”

“Houdini, who else?”

“How did you know?”

“I'd want to be blind not to see the way you look at each other.”

“...Quiet didn't tell you?”

“No...how?” Snake frowned. “Quiet knows?”

The Commander nodded. “Caught us red-handed.”

“Huh.” Snake replied. “I did too, you know.”

Ocelot felt his face turn red. “You did?”

“Sort of. I saw her sneaking into your quarters a couple of weeks ago.” 

“Oh.”

“It's fine, you know.”

“Eh?”

“This isn't the military. You're not going to get into trouble.”

“I know I just… don't want everyone knowing my business. And she  _ definitely  _ doesn't.”

“I get it.”

Ocelot glanced out at the sett sun once more. Snake cleared his throat. “I was going to challenge you and Miller to a card game in the rec room. But if you'd prefer to be alone-”

“No. No, I'll come.”

 

He was losing. Badly. He had never been the best poker player, but he wasn't the worst, either. At least he hadn't been before. He looked across the table to Quiet, who had joined them late, yet managed to bleed all three of them almost dry. She sat there with stacks of chips at her elbow, examining her cards with that same placid expression she always wore.

It was infuriating. That look. Like nothing ever bothered her. Behind that look, was she missing Houdini? Had she even thought about her since… 

He shook the thought from his head. No Quiet and Houdini were friends. He'd seen them together. Of course she missed her. That wasn't fair.

Quiet looked up, as though hearing his thoughts, and smiled. It didn't reach her eyes, though, and guilt cooled his temper. 

She won the hand, of course, and he threw down his cards with a growl. Snake eyed him through the cloud of smoke from his cigar. “Y’know some of the troops gave me a birthday present last month. I think now’s a good time to crack it open.”

Miller raised an eyebrow. “What sort of present?”

From one of the cupboards (a locked one at that), Snake produced a bottle of whiskey. A moment poking around one of the shelves and he produced four glasses of varying shapes sizes. Quiet, of course, declined hers with a wave. Ocelot almost did the same, but Snake clapped him on the shoulder and muttered “You need it.”

Miller, of course, was going blind but not deaf, and peered at Ocelot through his glasses as Snake sat down. “Why do  _ you _ need it, specifically?”

The Commander didn't answer, just sipped his drink leisurely. He didn't want to get into this with the Master. Not now. He could feel the heat of Miller’s temper flaring beside him. Across the table, Snake intervened.

“Kaz. Leave it.”

“Leave  _ what _ ?”

“Just -”

“No, I want to know.” Kaz’s glass came down on the table with a sharp sound. Quiet flinched. “The three of you are clearly in on this, so why not me, too?”

Snake looked at Ocelot, who clearly wasn't in the mood for this, and sighed. “Houdini’s still missing…”

“So?”

The Commander’s jaw clenched. His grey eyes flashed as they darted over to Miller.

“What's that got to do with anything?” Kaz continued. “She's probably gone back to Skull Face, or whoever sent her.”

When Ocelot was angry, the colour in his eyes tended to fade. They were almost white now. Snake shifted nervously. “I don't know what you mean -”

“You know exactly what I mean, Boss. I told you not to trust her from day one, but you wouldn't listen. Now she's run off with God knows what kind of intel to God knows who -”

He didn't get to finish his accusations before Ocelot’s fist connected with his face. His head flew back, his glasses clattered to the floor, and Miller teetered dangerously in his chair.

“ _ You shut the hell up! _ ”

The Commander was out of his seat, standing over the Master as he wiped a trickle of blood away from his nose. Miller looked up at him with murder in his eyes, then understanding softened his expression, and he laughed.

“Well I get it now.” Kaz said. “Don't be angry at me, Ocelot. She's the one who played you. I have to say, I never thought  _ you  _ would fall for a trick like that, but I can't say I blame you. If a nice little bitch like that crawled into bed with me, I'd make the most of it, too. But you should know well enough not to trust  _ anyone  _ around here. Honestly, you should've known better.”

The Commander’s fingers were twitching. Like he was dying to whip out one of his revolvers and shut Kaz up for good.

“Stop it, both of you.” The Boss’s voice drifted between them, quiet but firm.

Ocelot looked at him at once and nodded. He drained his glass before walking away. 

 

Sleep abandoned him, and he lay on his bed staring at the cold gray ceiling. He had lost his temper with Kaz.  _ Shouldn't have done that. _ He hardly ever lost his temper.  _ What's the matter with me? _

Of course he knew exactly what his problem was. Miller’s accusations had struck a nerve because they were already floating around in his head. He just didn't want to acknowledge them. What if Houdini was a spy? What if she had defected back to her employers? What if he had given an imposter access to valuable information? What if everything she had said and done was a lie?

He turned, eyes travelling over the desk, where the handcuffs glitter in the moonlight. He scowled at them. 

Next to them, the light on his comm flashed on. Snake's voice came through: “Ocelot! Ocelot! You awake?” 

He got up to answer it. “Snake? It 3a.m.!”

“Yeah. I know. You'd better come to the Medical Platform.”

“The Medical Platform?”

“Uh-huh. And come quick.”

 

He practically sprinted across the base, the white buildings of the Medical Platform standing out starkly against the night sky. As he came in close, the familiar thrum of a helicopter’s blades rang in his ears, and he looked back to see one of theirs rounding the Command Platform. He sped up, making it to the pad as it came in to land.

Snake was there to meet him, as well as Quiet. “Pequod got hold of me as soon as he found her.”

“Found...her?”

They both watched as the chopper settled down, cutting the blades. Two paramedics edged forward with a stretcher. He saw Pequod wriggle from the cockpit to the back of the helicopter. He came to the door with a limp figure in his arms. 

Ocelot’s feet moved of their own accord. Rushed past the paramedics to the pilot, who deposited her into his arms. She was thin, filthy and bloody. When he said her name, she didn't respond. 

“I found her near one of the landing zones. She managed to contact me from one of the guard posts and make it to the LZ but...she was like that when I found her.” Pequod explained.

The medical personnel came forward, and Ocelot carefully lowered Houdini onto the stretcher. They hurried her away without another word, Quiet gave him an anxious look before following. 

He just stood there, watching as they wheeled her away. 

 

“She's been starved, and she's badly dehydrated.” The doctor told them. “Took a few blows here and there. But not much else. However, we did find a number of needle marks on her skin.’

“What do you think?” Snake mused. “Truth serum?”

Ocelot nodded. “Or just an I.V.”

“We didn't find any traces of truth serum in her blood. “ The doctor commented, checking his papers. 

Silence fell over them. Ocelot ran a hand through his hair. 

“When will she wake up?”

“Soon enough.” The doctor said. “She's just exhausted.”

He sat down on the chair next to the bed. A gesture from Snake and he and the doctor disappeared beyond the curtain. Ocelot looked across the bed at Quiet, who was standing guard in the corner. She gave him a “thumbs up” before walking away.

 

\-----

 

Something brushed his head, and he jerked awake. It took a moment to remember where he was and why, but looking up he found Houdini looking at him. She was running her fingers through his hair, and she tried to smile when their eyes met.

How light her touch was. How frail her other hand felt under his, after only a few days. But it was still soft and warm. He pressed as he stood to kiss her bruised forehead, followed by her chapped lips. She made a rasping sound, trying to speak, so he wet the sponge on her table and dabbed a few droplets across her lips, and into her mouth.

“How are you?” He asked.

“ _ Shitty.”  _ Came the hoarse response. 

“The doc thinks someone was keeping you.” He said. “Is it true?”

She nodded.

“Who? Skull Face?” 

_ Shake head. _ “General…”

“Someone working for Skull Face?”

_ Nod. _

“Do you think you could tell me about it.”

_ Shake head.  _ “Tomorrow.”

He took her in carefully. “You might need longer than that.”

_ Nod. _

“I'll tell Miller you can't talk yet.”

_ “ _ Thanks.”

 

Houdini was seated in Miller’s office, looking uncomfortable, eyeing the man across the desk with distaste. Ocelot stood behind her, watching the the Master sternly. Snake leased against the wall, wishing he were somewhere else. 

“How did they catch you?” Asked Miller.

“They caught Laughing Hyena first and used him to bait us.” Houdini answered. 

“‘Us'?”

“Pouncing Jackal and myself.”

“Yes, the other members of your team. What happened to them?”

“They're dead.”

“Dead?!” Snake interjected. “How?”

“They killed them.”

“And left you alive?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“They thought it would break me.”

“Did it?”

“No.”

“You didn't tell them anything? Not even when they starved you?”

“No.”

Snake stepped forward. “What about the others? Did they say anything?”

“I don't know.”

“Did they torture them?”

“Probably.”

“You weren't with them?”

“They kept us together until they wanted to dispose of one.” 

Kaz leaned over the desk. “And you really said  _ nothing  _ to them?”

She paused. “I said  _ some  _ things to them.”

There was a collective intake of breath. 

“What?” Miller demanded. “What did you tell them?”

“Well they wanted to know where Mother Base was.”

“Yes?”

“So I told them it was in the Mediterranean.”

“...and?”

“They asked how many troops were here.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And I told them over three thousand.”

“...anything else?”

“The general also wanted to know what kind of weapons we were developing.”

“...”

“So I said we were building a robot fit to rival Metal Gear.”

“You lied to them?”

“Yup.”

“About  _ everything?” _

_ “ _ That's right.”

Behind her, she heard Ocelot chuckle. 

Miller grumbled. “Alright then, how did you get out?”

Houdini shifted in her seat. “I… uh…” She hesitated, turning to look at Ocelot. 

“Go on.” Miller pressed.

“Sorry.” The Commander frowned down at her when she said it. Unable to meet his eye, she pivoted back to the Master. “I got friendly with one of the guards.”

No-one spoke for a long moment. Houdini hung her head. She could feel Miller and Snake looking from her to Ocelot. She didn't dare look at him, but she could feel him behind her. She could've cut the tension with a knife. 

“I see.” Miller said, finally. Was is her imagination, or did he sound less gruff? “Well I suppose we know what happened from there.”

Houdini grimaced at the memory of it. Ocelot was silent. When she looked up at Snake, there was pity in his eyes. Even Miller’s expression had softened. 

“That's fine, Houdini.” Snake told her. “You’re dismissed.”

She almost knocked the chair over with the speed with which she stood up. The commander was standing by the door, but she didn't look at him as she hurried outside. Her legs propelled her to her quarters, where she crawled into bed to lie with her misery. 

 

“Houdini?”

Her eyes snapped open.

“Houdini?”

She rolled over. Her trousers lay crumpled on the floor, her comm still clipped to the belt. The red light lit up.

“Houdini answer me, please.”

She turned her face into the pillow, wishing to hide from the sound of his voice. 

“ _ Houdini I know you're there!” _

Groaning, she tumbled out of bed and crawled over to the radio. Unclipping it from her belt, she held it shakily up.

“I'm here.”

How weak she sounded. How pathetic. 

“Can I see you?”

Houdini closed her eyes. She not strong enough for this. 

“Houdini, can I come over?”

But she owed it to him. “If you want, yeah.”

The signal cut and she stood to clear her clothes off the floor. Stepping into her ensuite, she washed her face and brushed her teeth. Feeling slightly less dirty, she sat by her desk and waited. 

His footsteps sounded outside, so she went and opened the door. She caught him with his fist raised, ready to knock. His hand fell when he saw her.

“Can I come in?”

She stood aside and he entered. He immediately went to the bed and sat down. Closing the door, she settled back into her chair. The distance gaped between them, and he frowned. “Come here.”

“Just say what you came here to say.” She ordered.

A flash of hurt passed over his features, but he took a long breath. “I'm sorry I didn't say something… earlier today.”

Houdini looked at him. Hastily dressed in his shirt and trousers, his hair untidy, he looked fragile. Her stomach churned. She had done this to him. Brought him down. “What could you have said?”

“I don't know, really.” He admitted. “I could've tried to sympathise, I suppose.”

She scoffed. “Sympathise?”

He examined. “The truth is, I don't know how to react. I'm angry. But not at you.”

Houdini started. “You're not?”

“No. Of course not.” Ocelot looked at her, and this time she didn't look away. “If I ever get ahold of him, I'll gut him alive.”

She tilted her head. “It's not only his fault -”

“Yes, it is.” He insisted. “You were a prisoner and he took advantage of you.”

So that's what he thought. “Ocelot, no. That's not what happened. It was me. I seduced  _ him _ . On purpose.”

“And he took advantage.”

“But I…”

“The bruises. The ones you had on your wrists and your neck. Who did that?”

“...he did.”

“You had a burst lip. Who did that?”

“Him.”

“And the bump that was on your head?”

“Yeah.”

“So tell me again how willing you were.”

Houdini tried to take a deep breath. It escaped as sob. In a second, Ocelot was there, pulling her to him, taking her into his lap, hugging her to him. He kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, her forehead, and stroked her hair.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.” He whispered. “It's him I'm mad at, not you.”

She clung to him. When he nuzzled her, she turned her face to his and kissed him. Slowly, affectionately. 

He brought them both down to the bed, mouths locked, limbs entwined. Houdini felt apprehension welling in her chest, and Ocelot broke away.

“I'm sorry.” He said. “If you don't want to… if you just want to sleep -”

“No.” Strangely enough, she wanted him now more than ever. To feel the warmth of his arms. To feel safe. “No I want you. Just… slowly?”

He understood. And he did. And Houdini understood that this was what she wanted, beyond her fears. 


	10. WHAT HAPPENED IN OKINAWA

It's always nice to return to a familiar routine. This is what Houdini thought as Ocelot snapped the cuffs shut over her head. He took a moment to palm her smooth skin, pressing his mouth to hers. Gooseflesh rose where he touched, and the taste of him sent a ripple of warmth through her. 

He stepped away, and Houdini smiled as he planted his feet, eyes roving over her. 

“Head back, eyes closed.” 

She complied. This was the first time they'd tried it this way, with her facing him, and her pulse thrummed in anticipation. The end of the crop grazed her nipples, her long neck, tickled the sensitive contours of her stomach, and traced the line of her hips and legs.

“Ready?”

She nodded.

“Huh?”

“ _ Yes.” _

It touched her thighs, drawing a pink line across them. Houdini giggled. 

“Does that hurt?”

“No.”

Another on her left hip. She wriggled away from the sensation, still smiling.

“How's that?”

“Good.”

“Then stay still. This is a more delicate operation than before.”

She brought her legs together and stood straight. The crop trailed its way down her neck again and tapped her on the collarbone.  Houdini made a small noise, but otherwise was not bothered. A harder one across the stomach and she moaned.

“Ok?”

“Yes.”

“Can I continue?”

“Yes.”

He was being careful with her. Oh, so careful. The way he punctuated it with firm raps made it all the sweeter, so that she demanded more. Then, with a confident swing he missed his mark, and caught her just under the breast. Houdini cringed this time, for there was nothing pleasant about it. In fact she was certain he had broken the skin.

The crop hit the floor and he was across the room in a shot. “I've hurt you.”

He touched the wound and Houdini tried not to wince as it stung. “It's fine.”

“No, I lost focus and cut you. It's not fine.”

“I'll survive.”

“But the pleasure of it's been ruined this time…”

He was right about that. It didn't hurt that much, but it hurt enough that she didn't want it to happen again. Houdini met his gaze, allowing him to see the admission in her eyes. He stepped away and she opened her mouth to draw him back. However, only he bent down to retrieve the crop, and he tilted her head curiously as he unlocked the handcuffs.

Grinning, Ocelot handed both to her and knelt down. “You can get me back, if you like?”

“Get you back?”

A wink, and his shirt landed over the desk. Houdini took in the glory of his naked torso, realisation hitting her. 

“Go on.”

“You're sure?”

“Absolutely.”

She didn't need any further encouragement. She stepped past him, so that his back was to her, and waved the crop experimentally. 

“Come on, then. Show me what you've -”

The crop cut him off. He groaned, rolling his shoulders against its bite. “Again.”

She obliged.

“Again.  _ Harder.” _

_ Slap _ .

“ _ Unf..Yes!” _

_ Slap. _

_ “More.” _

_ Smack. _

He hissed. “Good girl.”

Again, the crop came.

“Harder. Hit me harder!”

It sang this time.

“ _ Ah! _ ”

“Do you want to -”

“No! Harder!”

She stepped forward this time with her swing. He moaned an excited. “ _ More. _ ” With laboured breath.

He was enjoying this, she noted, smiling. When she approached him and looked down, she saw just  _ how much  _ he was enjoying it. Inspired, Houdini reached out and grabbed him by the hair. He yelped in surprise when she pulled his head back, and grinned up at her. 

She nudged his leg with her toe. “Get up.”

He did, grunting slightly as she dragged him over to the bed, picking up the cuffs along the way. She threw him down and pinned him on his back, shutting the cuffs around his wrists, securing to the bed frame. He was following her every movement with apparent delight, and when she straddled him he tilted his head, curious. 

“Eyes closed.”

They fluttered shut. With a quick twitch of the wrist, Houdini brought the crop down on his stomach. He jerked. “ _ Oof _ .” For her next trick, she ground her hips into him, and he gasped. The crop again.

“Don't move.”

He stilled, and she did it again, treating him to pain, followed by pleasure, until he was sweating, muscles full of tics. Dying for her to have her way with him.

That's when he told her. “If you keep doing that I'll come in my pants.”

Houdini chuckled, and got up. Ocelot’s flew open, and he looked at her forlornly as she crossed the room. She spun the chair around and sat down, putting the crop on the desk. He strained against his bonds.

“Ah-ah-ah!” she scolded. “Don't move”

He could only stare, helpless, as she moved her hands over her bod **y** squirming in delight on the chair. When her hand dipped between her legs he groaned desperately. She looked at him then, saw his muscles pulled tight with the will not to move. His eyes were fixed between her legs. He licked his lips. 

“Sit on my face.”

She stopped. “What?”

”I want you to sit on my face.”

Her mouth pulled into a smirk. “Ask nicely.”

His tongue ran along his lips and she almost laughed, thinking how much like a man lost in the desert he looked.

“ _ Please  _ would you sit on my face.”

“If you want.”

“ _ Yes.” _

He hummed in delight as Houdini perched above him. In such a position, it was difficult not to feel self-conscious. Was she smothering him? What if she moved? Could she hurt him?

Ocelot, as though hearing her thoughts, muttered: “Relax.”

She stopped for a moment and took a few calming breaths.

“Hold the bed frame.”

She did, using it to hold herself above him. The position made it so that she could easily direct his tongue to where she wanted it, and in spite of her worries, she ended up swaying and wriggling this way and that, seeking the right points, knuckles turning white as she gripped the iron bed tighter and tighter.

“Wait.” she got up and turned. This way, she could touch him, could make him moan against her when she pinched his nipples, and grunt when she caressed the bulge in his trousers. His concentration lapsed as she reached into his briefs, taking him into her hand in order to stroke him slowly. He reintroduced his tongue with renewed vigour, and Houdini bucked slightly, bending over him to suck on his cock. 

“ _ Ah!”  _ Houdini gasped, closing her mouth around him tightly as her peak approached. Then, suddenly she removed herself from him. This time he protested loudly, until he saw her intention.

“ _ No, no, no!” _ He panted. “Turn around, I want to see you!”

Houdini did so, grinning as she lowered herself onto him. Ocelot hissed with delight, moving his hips to meet her. She slapped his thigh. “Don't move, or I'll find something to tie your legs with.”

“Can't say I'd object.”

“Right now?”

“...next time.”

She giggled, rolling her hips slowly against him. He closed his eyes with a pleasant. “ _ Oooh… _ ” At the sensation. Encouraged, Houdini went on. Slowly, deliberately. Moving in such a way that he stayed sheathed in her as her clit ground against his skin. It was intense, and a sheen of sweat soon covered her skin. He, too was slick with it as he lay watching her, both so intent on the feeling that all sound evaded them. Until Houdini broke their silence with a long moan. She kissed him, lying over him as she spoiled herself. He thrust against her then, and she met him, kissing him harder, more desperately, nipping at him as she grew tighter. 

Something in Russian, a string of affirmations in Irish, and she stayed on him, devouring him with languid kisses. Until he broke away asking. “Could you… unlock me now?”

“Nope.”

An uncharacteristic pout. “Why not?”

“You're not going anywhere.”

“I most solemnly swear that I am not. But my arms are starting to cramp.”

 

Houdini tutted and fetched the key. Released, Ocelot grabbed her and pulled her down with him. Combing her hair away from her features, he frowned.

“What?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

_ “What, Ocelot _ ?”

“I was just wondering if the name you gave me, that first day, was real.”

She snorted. “Of course not.”

“Does Sato know it?”

“What?”

“Your real name.”

“I don't think anyone does. At least I hope not.”

“Why not?”

“I'd rather people not know my personal business.”

A pause.

“Do you have family?”

Houdini hesitated before answering. “Brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews. Yes. I've got family.”

“Why did you hesitate, just now?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I'm curious about you.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Ocelot searched her face. “Because I am. It's normal, you know. When people get close. They want to know these things about each other.”

She thought. “Do  _ you _ have family, then?”

“No.”

Houdini propped herself up on her elbows. “ _ No?” _

He shook his head.

“That's...wow.”

“I did meet my mother though. But I was already an adult at the time. And I didn't find out who she was til after…”

“Did you try to contact her, when you found out?”

“No, she was already dead.”

“Oh… Sorry.”

He shrugged. “What about your parents?”

“They're both gone.”

“Both?” He looked at her. “But you're only… thirty-five?”

“Yeah but I'm the youngest of six.”

“ _ Six?!” _

She laughed. “It's not that unusual where I'm from.”

A long pause, in which he looked first at her, then to the wall. Back to her. She cocked an eyebrow.

“Do you..” He spat out eventually. “Do you have any kids?”

“Do  _ you? _ ”

“No… no that I know of. But I asked you first.”

Houdini sighed. Slowly, she rolled out of bed and retrieved a small wallet from her trousers. Ocelot’s stomach sank. She removed a photograph from one of the pockets. It was a boy. About ten years old. He stood with her in front of an old house. 

“His name is Rónán.” She offered. “I suppose he's about twelve now.”

The Commander opened and closed his mouth mechanically, searching for the right words. “His father?”

“I met him on assignment in Okinawa.” She explained. “He died in action when Rónán was about seven.”

“I see…” 

Houdini observed as he studied the photo. He seemed to be drinking in her son's features. She'd never shown Rónán to anyone. But she could trust Ocelot… right? After a while, he handed the photo back. She took a moment to stare at it.  _ He’s so much like his father.  _ It went safely back into the wallet, then into her pocket. She glanced back at Ocelot, who was clearly trying to process this information.

“If this makes you uncomfortable -” She ventured. 

“No.” He interjected. “Of course it's a bit of a shock. But it's not really that big of a deal.”

“It isn't?”

“I don't think so.” He reached out a hand. “Relax. Come back to bed.” 

Houdini breathed a sigh of relief as she nestled into his arms.

“Houdini?”

“Hmm?”

“I shouldn't have pried.”

“It's alright. You were just curious.”

They lay there a while in their individual thoughts. Ocelot fell asleep first, and as soon as she heard him drift off, Houdini allowed her mind to wander back to her family. To her son. She pictured him as she'd seen him last, almost a year ago now; setting off for school, the grey uniform hanging baggy on this slender frame. Had he grown into it yet? What were his grades like? Was he okay?

Suddenly, the idea of being stuck on Mother Base sent a jolt of panic through her. She turned to Ocelot, sleeping soundly, and whispered: “Now you understand why I can't stay.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was debating whether I should go this route with Houdini, but it seemed like the idea that fit her best.


End file.
